Partner refuses to have kids over fears he'll pass on his mental health issues

DEAR DEIDRE: I THINK my partner will be an amazing dad but he says he doesn’t want a family.

He had problems with depression and self-harming and he’s worried he will somehow pass that on to a child even though he’s fine now.


I’m 25 and my partner’s 27. We have been together for two years and get on so well together.

I thought he was going to be my soulmate.

He wants to get married and live together but I am not sure how we move forward because, either way, one of us won’t be happy with the compromise.

I love him so much, but I definitely want to be a mum before I turn 30. He keeps saying he doesn’t want it to happen.

How do I deal with it?

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DEIDRE SAYS: Some research suggests that mental illness can run in families, but it doesn’t mean that any children would definitely become unwell, it’s not always hereditary.

Your boyfriend could talk to a professional genetics counsellor who can give specialist advice and information to reassure him. His GP can refer him.

Best not rush into marriage because right now you see different futures. If he’s still adamant kids will never be on his radar, you both face a difficult choice

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