If my husband wants me to do anything he sends me a text or a WhatsApp message

DEAR DEIDRE: IF my husband wants me to do anything he sends me a text or a WhatsApp message. It’s like he’s taken a vow of silence.

I don’t know what’s wrong with him. We are both 47 and we’ve been married 20 years. He is completely non-communicative. He refuses to respond to verbal greetings.

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Our children are both at university so they can’t see what’s going on.

To my mind, I haven’t done anything wrong but he just ignores me unless he needs help with something, and then I get a polite message with a “please” and a “thank you”. It’s affecting my mental health. What do you suggest?

DEIDRE SAYS: Unless he is actually ill, he is using “stonewalling” as a passive aggressive way of showing you you’re at fault.

Find a moment to tell him that his behaviour is having a detrimental effect on your relationship.

If he still refuses to talk or doesn’t want confrontation, explain you need to go to Relate (relate.org.uk, 0300 0030 396) for some couples’ counselling. It has a section on its website about stonewalling.

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