Hi Hello, Your Sex Horoscope for the Week Is Here

What’s happening: It’s one hell of a Friday the 13th, I’ll tell you what. Tonight, aggressive Mars is making a tough quincunx aspect to Saturn. It feels like nothing is going your way, and it’s driving you absolutely bonkers. Try not to blow up at anyone. Venus quincunx Jupiter and the Sun quincunx Neptune on Saturday gives the rest of the weekend a wonky vibe, too, and your love life feels unbalanced and off. If you can’t keep your cool, there could be big fights between you and your boo.

Luckily, Venus enters Libra, the sign of the Scales, on Monday—perfect for recalibrating your relationship—and Wednesday’s Mercury/Mars conjunction provides you with the confidence to start important conversations so you can move past the weekend’s drama. On Thursday, an opposition between the Sun and lucky Jupiter, plus the start of Uranus Retrograde, means that you can let the dust settle, pick up the pieces, and move forward.

What that means for you:


Something—or more likely, someone—is holding your love life back from truly thriving. They’re taking up way too much of your time and energy, but they’re not giving you any of theirs. It’s time to take action, Aries. Be bold, start those important (and difficult) conversations, and move TF on. Venus in Libra is going to give your love life a major glow-up later this week, so you won’t be feeling bad for long!


The story of your week goes a little something like this, Taurus: You want a different kind of relationship status (whether you’re trying to boo someone up or cut somebody off), but nothing’s really going your way. Well, that’s because you simply aren’t doing anything about it. It’s time to leave your comfort zone. PSA: Wednesday’s the best day for shooting your shot, starting The Talk, getting lucky, or all of the above.


Stop worrying, Gem! Your mind is clinging to the past this weekend—especially past relationships. All of this reflection is reeeaaaaally bringing your mood down, and you’re nervous that former crappy patterns could weasel their way into your current love life. Gemini, listen. You’re the most flexible, fluid, and changeable sign. You’re not defined by your past, and you have what it takes to move on from the drama. Take care of business this week, because after Venus enters Libra on Monday, your love life will be thriving!


If it doesn’t feel good, then don’t do it! You’ve been uncharacteristically bold in bed lately, Cancer, but just because opportunity comes knocking doesn’t mean you have to take it. Keep experimenting with new toys, sexy lingerie, sex positions, etc., but don’t be afraid to say “time out” if you (or your partner!) start feeling uncomfortable. This week could feel like you’re testing the limits of your relationship, but if you take advantage of this astro-weather, you can actually use it to understand the importance of boundaries and communication.


Is this really the hill you want to die on, Leo? You and your partner/situationship/FWB/etc. are having a disagreement about something, and you do not want to admit that you’re wrong. You never do—you’re stubborn as hell! But are you fighting because you’re actually that assured of your convictions, or do you just want to be right? Here’s the thing: The disagreements you’re having are not that major. It’s your reaction that matters. Try being open and flexible, and you and your partner can work together to find creative solutions and fix whatever’s not working.


Sorry, bb, but your love life’s taking the back seat this weekend. Venus is in your sign, trying to level up your love life, but you gotta work on yourself first. Do something that makes you feel good. Tidy up! Upgrade your wardrobe! Masturbate! Get in full-face glam makeup, just to feel sexy! It’s like they say, if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else? This weekend’s all about rest and self-care—once you recharge your batteries, you can leap back into your love life feeling better and more confident than ever!


This weekend’s got some real “big oof” energy. It’s one hell of a Friday the 13th for you, Libra, because you’re almost certain to run into an ex of yours. Whether they’re trying to start drama or they’re being friendly (or at least acting friendly…), I suggest hitting “block” and moving on. They’re your ex for a reason! New love is coming, because Venus entering your sign on Monday turns you into a total babe magnet.


Remember: Just because you like someone doesn’t mean that they have to like you back. Neptune’s influence is making you look at life through the rosiest of rose-tinted lenses, so it’s easy to delude yourself into thinking red flags are a pretty pink instead. I’d avoid first dates, asking people out, or DTRing this weekend, because this astro-weather reeks of rejection. DW, though—Uranus, the planet of disruption, has been stirring up havoc in your chart’s relationships zone for months, but on Thursday it finally turns retrograde and things can slow down again!


You’ve got a busy week ahead, Sagittarius! Whether it’s with your boo, your bestie, or (ugh) your boss bc you’re stuck at the office, there’s always something on your schedule. It’s making it hard to focus on your love life, but to be fair, it’s making it hard to focus on anything. Just go with the flow this week, Sagittarius. Enjoy the little things and roll with the punches. Try to have fun and be with people you like! Things’ll calm down again soon.


This weekend’s kind of a dud for your love life, unfortunately. If you’re boo’d up, you might feel disconnected from your partner, in and/or out of the bedroom. If you’re single or dating, you might feel like your crush has jumped ship. You’re not getting ghosted—they’re just really busy! Be patient. Instead of blowing up someone’s phone with a trillion triple texts or snapping at your partner every time you think something feels “wrong,” wait things. You’re starting to take your love life more seriously, but first you have to get over this little speed bump. After Venus enters Libra on Monday, it’s all smooth sailing!


This weekend’s an emotional whirlwind, but this week? *Chef’s kiss* Delightful! Venus entering Libra on Monday encourages you to get out of your comfort zone and do anything (or anyone 😜😏) possible to spice up your love life! Wednesday’s astro-weather is perf for having truly intimate, erotic sex, but if you’re just hooking up, get ready to catch feelings for your fling. Thursday’s great if you’re specifically looking to turn a FWB into a LTR—but Leo season’s vibe in general is great for relationships, so whatever your ‘ship status, you can use this astro-weather to your advantage!


The stars are pushing you to stand up for yourself this weekend, bc others have been taking advantage of you for way too long. You go out of your way to check in on people, you’re never one to shy away from showing affection, and you just love to love others—but people are just taking and taking and taking it, without giving anything in return. Unless your love life is in really good shape, there could be big fights (and potentially big breakups) this weekend. But the astro-weather later in the week is all about making new, positive connections, so if you do have to dump someone, you won’t be lonely for long!

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