Woman condemned for ditching the pill without telling her partner

A friend’s dilemma has recently sparked discussion on lying about contraception.

Sharing her post on Mumsmet, the woman explains that she’s recently fallen out with a friend who has stopped taking the pill without telling her long-term partner.

She goes on to say that, after a few drinks, the pair got chatting and her friend revealed she’d stopped her contraception without letting her partner of six years know – because she ‘thought he would be fine’ with an accidental pregnancy.

The woman’s post reads: ‘Her reasons are that they’ve discussed having kids and he definitely wants them but he just wants them to be in a perfect financial/home situation before trying. 

‘She thinks he will be fine with an accidental pregnancy but won’t discuss it upfront with him as she knows he will tell her “not right now”.’

The woman says her friend is in her early 30s and her partner is 10 years older.

She continues: ‘My view is that he actually doesn’t want kids at all which is why he’s employed numerous delaying tactics over the last couple of years so this has disaster written all over it.’

The poster was keen to hear from the community their thoughts on the scenario and whether their relationship will last.

While lying about the pill isn’t currently illegal, lots of people have pointed out how immoral it is – considering it’s intentional deception.

One person said: ‘If they are in a long-term committed relationship and both mutually agree to one form of contraception, her removing that without saying so is practically criminal in my opinion.’

It also brings the matter of consent into play – particularly as non-consensual condom removal, or ‘stealthing’, is classed as rape under UK law.

Others have also questioned the trust in this relationship, as a result.

Someone replied to the post: ‘If there is contraception agreed, withdrawing it without discussion is sh*t and I would lose all the trust in the partner. It will eventually come out.’

While another said: ‘Does your friend care that she’s literally, dishonestly removing his ability to consent to an element of a sexual relationship? How would she feel if that was done to her?’

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