My husband and I haven't had sex for four years

DEAR DEIDRE: IT’S been so long since my husband and I had sex that I feel like just the lodger.

I’m 38 and he’s 60. When we first got together we had a good love life, but we haven’t been intimate for four years. He’s just not interested.


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I have tried to speak to him about how I feel but all he says is: “Not this again.”

I’ve tried sexy underwear and tight dresses, dyeing my hair – anything to make him notice me and find me attractive.

Nothing works. I could walk around naked and he wouldn’t be aroused.

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I’ve lost all my confidence and feel so ugly.

Should I leave him? I just want to feel like a woman again.

DEIDRE SAYS: You need to be honest and say you have been contemplating leaving him. It may give him the jolt he needs.

He could be worrying about his performance and is withdrawing from you as a result. But the best way to solve this is by working and communicating together.

My support packs on Looking After Your Relationship and Reviving A Man’s Sex Drive should help.

Ask him to talk to his GP to rule out any underlying medical causes for his lack of interest in sex.

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