DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE been completely humiliated after my wife traded me in for a young lad who is barely out of nappies.

He was my teenage son’s friend and is 20 years younger than me.

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My wife and I are 41. I thought my life was storybook-perfect.

We were childhood sweethearts who married and had three wonderful children.

I used to love telling people we’ve been together for 24 years. It was longer than any other couple of our age we knew.

I was very much in love with my wife. Last summer we decided our eldest son needed tutoring for his GCSEs the following year.

So we got our neighbour’s son, who was 19, to tutor him.

My boy idolised him. They had known each other since they were small. He was like an older brother to him.

I thought this lad was a great role model for him. He’d just graduated from university and was looking for a job.

It seemed like a perfect arrangement. It never crossed my mind he would make a move on my wife – besides, she had known him since he was a toddler.

He still had the remnants of teenage acne and lived with his parents.

So I was shocked when my wife confessed she had been in a nine-month relationship with him. At first I thought it was some kind of sick joke.

She said they can see a future together and she wants a divorce.

We haven’t told the kids yet. I keep praying she’ll change her mind. I hate myself for letting this happen.

What kind of man lets a boy take his wife?

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DEIDRE SAYS: This is very a difficult situation and your self-esteem, understandably, has been knocked.

But now is not the time to give into feelings of self-pity.

Even if you missed the signs, you are not to blame for your wife cheating on you.

As devastating as it is, you need to step up, for your children’s sake.

Emphasise to your wife the importance of putting your children first.

Suggest that you don’t make any big announcements until after your son’s exams.

Can you ask her to consider relationship counselling to work through your next steps?

Having an independent therapist to talk to will help you either reconnect or, at the very least, separate with dignity.