Five signs it's absolutely worth giving an old flame another chance

The rumours are true– Maya Jama and Stormzy are back on.

The high-profile couple were together for four years before splitting up in 2019 amid rumours that the rapper, real name Michael Ebenazer Kwadjo Omari Owuo Jr, cheated on her.

Now the pair were seen on holiday in Greece celebrating Maya’s birthday, with pictures last night showing the couple holding hands.

While the news has gone down well with fans who said ‘the earth is healing’ as the couple are back together, you might be wondering if it’s worth chatting to your ex again, but hold fire for now.

Many took to social media to point out Maya didn’t take Stormzy back with open arms straight away and took time to heal before coming back together.

During their four-year break, Stormzy also released songs referencing his relationship with the TV presenter and lamented the break-up, saying he still wanted to marry her.

So if you are also considering rekindling an old romance, be like Maya Jama and figure out whether enough time and penance has passed.

Signs to look out for before reuniting with an ex

We spoke to Courtney Boyer, a relationship and sexuality expert, to figure out the key signs to look for before getting back in touch with a former partner.

She tells here are the five things you should consider:

  • You’ve both done some healing. If you approach the relationship with the same (limited) tools that you had the first time around, then you’re not setting yourself up for success. It’s likely that you will just repeat the past. Change nothing and nothing will change. 
  • You’ve forgiven each other’s (and your own) past. I cannot emphasise how important forgiveness is. Unresolved resentment will fester and undermine your relationship. Long-term success can only come from a place of peace and that begins first with yourself. If you’re not willing to forgive them or yourself for their past, then it will haunt your present relationship. 
  • You know what you want. What is the goal for having this person in your life? Is it to start a family? Is it to meet a specific need? Be very clear on what you are wanting and make sure the other person is too. And then see if they are really able to meet that need. Forcing them into something you want them to be won’t work (or last).
  • You’ve established deal breakers. Have you identified why the relationship ended originally? What caused its demise? Be really honest with what led to the relationship failing and see how it could be prevented going forward. Also consider any new deal breakers that will cause you to exit the relationship and ask your partner to do the same. 
  • Release the outcome. Anytime we want something to work so badly, we tend to fight for control and make choices out of fear instead of love. When we trust the process, believe that when we show up as our healthy self, and that everything is working for us, then it does. That’s when love wins.

We also spoke to Dr Becky Spelman, psychologist and founder at Private Therapy Clinic who shared some tips on reunification.

‘Deciding whether you should rekindle a past romance is a deeply personal and subjective decision,’ she tells 

‘It is advisable to have open and honest conversations with your partner and to seek the guidance of trusted friends, family members, and, if needed, a professional therapist, to help navigate the decision-making process. 

‘While there are no definitive signs that universally apply to everyone, there are some things to consider when contemplating reigniting a past relationship.’

She said these are considering whether you and your partner have compatible values, goals, and aspirations. ‘It is important to have common ground and a shared vision for the future to ensure a strong foundation for the relationship.’ 

She added: ‘Both individuals should express a genuine desire to reconnect and invest in the relationship going forward. It is important to ensure that both of you are on the same page and willing to put in the necessary effort to make the relationship work.’

Some things to think about.

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