This is what it means when a guy blows hot and cold

I’m a dating coach – this is what it means when a guy blows hot and cold and what you should do about it

  • UK-based dating coach Benjamin Daly shares relationship tips on TikTok
  • READ MORE:  I’m a professional dating coach – and these are 5 things your boyfriend SHOULD be doing as a bare minimum if he wants to keep you

A dating coach has shared advice on what you should do if you’re interested in a man who is ‘blowing hot and cold’.

Benjamin Daly is a UK-based coach and content creator who boasts more than 1.2 million followers on TikTok.

He often shares videos about dating topics, and has created content around issues including how to deal with breakups and what to do if you’re an overthinker when it comes to relationships.

In a recent clip, Benjamin discussed dating situations in which one partner blows ‘hot and cold’.

By this, he means showing varying levels of interest, sometimes being very engaged and interested, and at other times, not showing any interest.

Benjamin Daly (pictured) is a dating coach and content creator who makes TikTok videos on relationship issues

During the video, the dating coach shared his view on why people do this, and what you can do in response. 

He says: ‘Here’s why that guy is being hot and cold is because he’s unsure about either you or the relationship. 

‘Listen, do not waste your time trying to convince someone of your worth. 

‘Your goal is not to persuade someone, but to find someone who doesn’t need persuading.’

His video, which garnered in excess of 140,000 views, seemed to strike a chord with many of those who watched it.

Hundreds of people took to the comments section to share their experiences of trying to date someone who has blown hot and cold.

Many revealed that they had struggled with such a situation, and had found it stressful and painful.

One commentator shared how she had not properly understood that a former partner was blowing hot and cold – and that the relationship eventually ended. 

According to the creator, when people you are dating blow hot and cold, it is likely because they are unsure about the relationship

Why he’s being hot and cold… #datingtip #datingadvice

They wrote: ‘I never realized this with my ex, he eventually married someone else but I never persuaded him into anything.’

Another described how they had found themselves dating someone following the same pattern of being engaged and then disengaging.

They said: ‘So annoying went from totally chill, hanging out to FLIPPING AWKWARD & now nothing. Sucks.’

Meanwhile a third talked about how while the person they are dating seems interested when they are together, it is not the same when trying to communicate over the phone.

For many commentators, the experience of dating someone who blows hot and cold had been a frustrating one

They explained: ‘When he’s with me it’s just feels so right but when it’s on the text messaging he’s being so different. I feel like I’m trying too hard.’

For another commentator, playing dating games seemed to have become tiring, and they admitted they were no longer actively seeking a partner.

They wrote: ‘I have given up on finding that someone who doesn’t need persuading. For a change that someone can find me.’

And another commentator who also seemed somewhat jaded by the world of dating added their own thoughts on people who blow hot and cold.

They wrote: ‘Some are just selfish and want you for their own needs … actions speak louder than words.’ 

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