In 1997, Jean Kerr formed the charity PAPYRUS Prevention of Young Suicide after her son, Edward, took his own life. Here, she shares her story and explains why it’s crucial that we keep raising funds to help those in crisis – and what you can do to help.
‘When Edward died, it came as a complete and utter shock to me and our whole family. It was November 1989 and he showed no signs of depression or anxiety – he was 17 and seemed to be happy.
For a lot of people, suicide seems out of the blue for the family and friends affected by it. Unfortunately, most people who die from it are not known to mental health services.
Edward was a joy to us. He was kind, caring, wise beyond his years and academically gifted with a brilliant future ahead of him. He was thoughtful, too – whenever it was someone’s birthday, he’d make a cake for them. It’s these memories of him that I’ve cherished in the 30 odd years since his passing.
After his death, my husband and I didn’t really know what to do with ourselves. When we battled through the initial shock, we felt that we needed some support so we ended up contacting a group for bereaved parents called Compassionate Friends.
We were comforted by the fact that we met other parents who had lost children in many different ways – some from suicide. But it was then that I realised I couldn’t see any charities specifically addressing suicide in young people.
I just had so many questions that needed answering about how to prevent this from happening to any other parents like us. How could we make use of this to prevent other families going through the same thing? What could we learn from it?
So, I started writing to health organisations because there was nothing – as far as I knew – that used the experiences of friends and family to help raise awareness of the issue.
I attended suicide prevention conferences, made contact with my NHS Trust and through them, I was asked into meetings with the Department of Health. Eventually, I was invited to speak at conferences and became a leading voice on youth suicide.
It became the thing that I wanted to do because I realised that my own experience and the experience of others can be the key to opening up conversations. I wanted to pass this knowledge on in the hope that it could prevent it from happening to other families.
Suddenly, I realised people started to listen to me and I was beginning to make some real change. But I really felt like a lone voice and I couldn’t keep doing it all by myself.
While giving talks, I would meet other parents affected by suicide and we were eventually galvanised to come up with the idea of PAPYRUS, the Parents’ Association for the Prevention of Young Suicide, because we believed parents have a unique perspective.
In March 1997 – eight years after my son’s death – it became a reality.
In those early days, we were meeting at our home and only had about £10 each between the seven of us. We set out trying to find other parents to join us and help share their stories.
Just by saying the word ‘suicide’ and refusing to hide it is so powerful. When people affected by it speak out, it can be such a powerful tool to cut through to others.
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