DEAR DEIDRE: AN ex-girlfriend keeps coming back into my life and I can’t help falling for her all over again.

We have sex anywhere we can find that’s quiet and secluded and it’s constantly in my thoughts.

None of this would matter if I were not married with two little boys to think of. I have been wed six years and I’m now 36. My wife is 34.

The ex-girlfriend I’m seeing is the same age as me and living in an abusive marriage. When she and I were in a relationship, she was also seeing the guy she eventually married.

I then met my wife-to-be but, looking back, I think I was anxious about the whole idea of marrying her. My ex and I had frantic sex in my car just a week before my wedding.

My ex contacted me a year ago saying she was unhappy and wanted to talk. I knew it would lead to sex but I went, making sure I had a condom with me.

I think I pretended, even to myself, that it was just a chat about her problems. This is how it has been ever since. Whenever she feels low, she asks to meet. It inevitably ends in sex.

Eventually, she said she is getting a divorce so I told my wife I thought our marriage wasn’t working. My plan was to end it and be with my girlfriend full-time.

It didn’t work out that way. My ex still says she loves me and we still meet, but she also says a full-time relationship between us would not work.

That means I have wrecked my marriage, made my wife unhappy and stand to lose everything, all for nothing.

I feel useless when it comes to the important things in life. The only good thing about me is that I am a loving father.

I know I am good with my sons and the last thing I want to do is hurt them.

Trouble is I cannot see a way out except the permanent one of divorcing and breaking up my family.

topic4today

ONE in five people suffer from depression at some point.

We may be helped by medication but there is a lot we can do, too, to ward off the blues.

My leaflet on Defeating Depression gives sources of help.

For a copy, email [email protected] or message me on Facebook.

DEIDRE SAYS: It is not too late to save your marriage and family life.

First, though, you have to stop running to your ex-girlfriend every time she clicks her fingers.

She has you on a string but is holding out no prospect of a real relationship.

While she is in control like this, she has no reason to change anything. Stop seeing her. She is the person she is and shows no signs of changing.

Popular Dear Deidre problems

You can get close to your wife again. Reassure her how much she and your sons mean to you.

Say you are sorry to have caused her distress and suggest you both read my e-leaflet Your Relationship MOT which is full of constructive ideas you can try together.

You don’t need me to tell you that making your relationship feel positive and fulfilling again is best for your boys.

Source: Read Full Article