There’s nothing like getting those first runs on the board in Westminster’s merciless cauldron: HENRY DEEDES watched the new Leader of the House on his big day
First big test for Mark Spencer as Leader of the House and, whaddayaknow, the big lad from Notts only went and tonked it to the boundary.
If you could have seen the look of relief that exploded across the debutante’s face. In Parliament’s merciless cauldron, there’s nothing quite like getting off to a good start.
With his jolly Les Dawson cackle and tummy you could balance a pint on, the former chief whip has yet to be weathered by the rigours of the despatch box.
Yesterday, he hosted business questions in his new role, which brought his first encounter with Pete Wishart (SNP, Perth), a craggy-toothed rabble-rouser with a penchant for the foam-flecked diatribe.
Gearing up for one of his wobblies, Wishart couldn’t wait to get stuck in to the new boy. Making Spencer the Leader of the House was ‘unbelievable’, he spat.
First big test for Mark Spencer as Leader of the House and, whaddayaknow, the big lad from Notts only went and tonked it to the boundary. In Parliament’s merciless cauldron, there’s nothing quite like getting off to a good start
Yesterday, he hosted business questions in his new role, which brought his first encounter with Pete Wishart (SNP, Perth), pictured, a craggy-toothed rabble-rouser with a penchant for the foam-flecked diatribe
‘It’s like moving Dracula from minister for blood supply to minister for blood transfusions. He must not just know where the bodies are buried; he is also brushing off the dirt on his grubby overalls.’
Watching Wishart work himself into these frenzies is rather how one imagines the control room might have looked inside Chernobyl just before it blew.
Lights flashing, alarms beeping, meter needles in the red zone.
The Government was ‘callous’, he squawked. It was ‘heartless!’ And so on.
But Spencer had clearly been well briefed about this firecracker. Rising, he thanked Wishart for his ‘warm words’, but admitted he couldn’t help notice how angry he got each week.
‘I am concerned about that,’ he said.
And, with all the affected mollycoddling of a maternity nurse, added: ‘It is my personal mission to try to soothe him. I am the Sudocrem to his nappy rash.’
The Tory laughter was impressive. Even the Foreign Office’s Amanda Milling afforded herself a chuckle. God knows Big Ben’s gargoyles smile more than her.
Whether Boris has picked an albatross as his new enforcer will remain to be seen. But as for his new Leader of the House, he seems to be on to a winner
But then it pays to have a raconteur’s wit as Leader of the House.
Business questions can be gluey sessions. Subjects yesterday ranged from the provision of early abortion pills to that beastly footballer who drop-kicked his cat.
Navigating such a vast array of topics requires a lightness of touch. The Ian Blackfords and Emily Thornberrys of this world need not apply.
There is an endearing modesty about Spencer, too. Hailing from farming stock, he’s not one for highfalutin expositions like extravagant predecessor Jacob Rees-Mogg.
One suspects he’s more at home selecting his lunch order from the Westminster Arms chalk board than the showier establishments his colleagues frequent.
Incidentally, re. Mogg, Spencer dubbed him a ‘pioneer’ of the hybrid Commons model during lockdown, with some MPs video-calling from home. Mogg? A technological pioneer? I’m pretty sure he still puts the remote control to his ear when his mobile rings.
When Siobhan Baillie (Con, Stroud) raised nuclear fusion, Spencer admitted he knew nothing about it other than it featured in Spider-Man 2 and proved disastrous.
Turning to his notes, he shrugged: ‘It says here that nuclear fusion has the potential to be a world-changing energy source, and I have no reason to doubt that.’
There is an endearing modesty about Spencer, too. Hailing from farming stock, he’s not one for highfalutin expositions like extravagant predecessor Jacob Rees-Mogg, pictured,
The House rather took to this self-effacing style. Even hysteria-in-chief Chris Bryant (Lab, Rhondda) went easy on him.
With Spencer’s successor as chief whip, Chris Heaton-Harris, on the frontbench, Bryant reminded the House that – in a strange parliamentary quirk – Heaton-Harris had actually run the Labour MP’s campaign to be Speaker in 2019.
‘Which did not go very well, obviously,’ he joked to much laughter.
Spencer pointed out Heaton-Harris also ran Andrea Leadsom’s campaign for Tory leader against Theresa May, ‘which was equally successful.’ More laughs.
Whether Boris has picked an albatross as his new enforcer will remain to be seen.
But as for his new Leader of the House, he seems to be on to a winner.
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