If the ideal night;s sleep is eight hours long (if only we actually ever achieved this, eh?) then we spend roughly one third of our lifetimes asleep. And what we dream about can offer useful insight into our waking hours, too.
Many of us will experience bad or recurring dreams at some point in our lives. Usually frightening, upsetting or completely bizarre, these dreams can significantly disrupt our sleep and make it difficult to nod off again.
If you could prevent these bad dreams from happening, would you – and should you – do it?
According to celebrity dreams expert Inbaal Honigman, who is one of the regular Lunch Mates on Channel 4's Steph's Packed Lunch, there are meanings we can learn from behind the most common dreams, including falling, running, and arguments with loved ones.
Unresolved situations are the main trigger for bad dreams
While sometimes it can be difficult to decipher a meaning from nightmares or recurring dreams, it's often seen as our brain’s way of communicating a deeper message to us.
Inbaal explains: “Bad dreams, even nightmares, are usually an anxiety response. Our unresolved situations from daytime – such as confrontations with others, worries about a deadline, or a stressful relationship – bubble up to the surface when we sleep.
“With our defences down during nighttime, our brains go over those upsetting situations in an attempt to process them, and we experience the anxiety all over again.”
Real life recurring dreams
“Recurring dreams, and especially recurring nightmares, happen when we have an ongoing situation which we are reluctant to resolve.” Inbaal explains.
“For example, if you're stuck in a horrid job with an insensitive boss, and you simply cannot walk away, then those daily exhausting confrontations will rise to the surface during sleep time – again, and again, and again.”
Because dreams are so personal, topics can vary hugely, says Inbaal. However, she says some of the most common recurring anxiety dreams are about falling, running, fire and arguments.
Dreaming of running
“Running dreams suggest that you may be running away from something, while falling dreams show that you feel unable to cope,” says Inbaal.
“Running dreams suggest that you may be running away from something while falling dreams show that you feel unable to cope,” explains Inbaal, who’s worked with previously celebrities and has been involved in research from mattressonline.
Dreaming of fire
"When we feel angry in our day-to-day lives, it's normal to dream of fire in our sleep, as the all-consuming nature of fire is much like rage. If you dream of fire often, look into what makes you angry, talk to someone, and resolve the situation in your real life.
"If you're arguing with the same person in your dream every night, it's really imperative that you resolve your relationship with that person. If not face to face, at least come to terms with your feelings about them and accept the limitations of that relationship, so you can sleep soundly at night.”
Dreaming of falling
"A falling dream is one of the most common anxiety dreams, and can indicate fears of loss of control," says the expert. "When we don't feel like we've got our lives under control, a dream of tripping, stumbling or falling is calling our attention to the fact that we are fearful that we just don't 'stack up' ,and we're falling through life, rather than reaching for success.
"Interestingly, more than half of the population experience a spontaneous jerky motion just at the point of falling asleep, and this, to our sleepy minds, feels like tripping and falling – this is part of what makes falling dreams so common."
Dreaming of public toilets
Yes, it sounds strange, but one commonly cited dream involves loos. Perhaps you see an overflowing one, or there is no cubicle door, or they are all occupied.
Weirder still, these can apparently be a sign your friends is taking advantage of you.
According to Inbaal, this recurring dream could signify friends aren’t respecting your boundaries: “Water dreams are to do with your emotions. A dirty toilet shows that your emotions are all infected with other people's mess.
"This anxiety dream shows that you struggle to set boundaries with people (no door on the cubicle) and that's the cause of the panic.”
She advises that it’s time to detox your friends list. “You are no ashtray for people to stub their emotions into. Put yourself first and honour your emotional wellbeing ahead of any social interaction,” says Inbaal.
Dreaming of dating someone else
Don’t be scared this means you really want to be unfaithful – it could actually show the strength of your relationship. Especially if you real partner appears at the end or the stranger seems to somehow merge into them.
Inbaal says this is one is actually one of the more positive relationship dreams you can have.
She says: “In a relationship, we put ourselves in the vulnerable position of having our wellbeing and happiness in the hands of another person, which is scary and risky.
“I see a lot of positives in this dream. It can mean that your partner is the reliable party here, the one you know you can count on, and you see other people from your past as potentially manipulative. Another positive is that you trust yourself, and when your partner emerges, you understand and remember, so you know you won't be swindled so easily.”
Dreaming of hidden rooms
Sometimes, the setting of our dreams can be significant.
Have you ever pictured a room so clearly, yet on waking have no idea where it is? Or felt there were hidden rooms in your house? This could reveal underlying secrets about your personality.
“Dreams about rooms usually reflect different parts of our personalities, for example if you’re dreaming of a dining room that is lost and hasn't been cleaned it could suggest that your relationship to food and eating is somewhat distorted," explains Inbaal.
"Throwing the concept of guests into this dining/dust quagmire further shows that maybe eating with others can be a hardship.”
Inbaal's top tip? "If you could work on your relationship with nutrition and socialising, you likely won't be bothered with this dream anymore."
Why stopping nightmares altogether is a bad idea
“It's not a good idea to stop having bad dreams altogether.” Inbaal explains. “Dreams are a way for our brains to communicate to us, and if there's something we need to be made aware of, it's a good idea to listen and accept that those bad dreams are there.
"But recurring dreams – no. Recurring dreams just send us the same message multiple times. Act on the information, and you'll be spared having to endure it again.”
Can we control our dreams?
She says: “I believe that with practice, each person can take control over their dreams. It takes time and patience, but if you work on your anxiety levels, while at the same time, attempt to process your dreams every morning, you can take charge of those dream scenarios.”
1. Deal with your stress levels
If you do your best to reduce anxiety from your life – avoid stressful situations, practice yoga and meditation, and find a space for peace in your everyday routine – you'll carry less anxiety into your sleep time.
2. Eat well and exercise
Eat a balanced diet (not too little, not too much!), drink water, and exercise in the fresh air most days. Your body will be less stressed, so your mental state will be better overall.
3. Spring clean your relationships
Friends, online contacts, and even family who treat you badly just have to go. Have as little to do with toxic people as you possibly can, and their negativity won't infect you.
4. Keep a dream diary
Write down all your dreams (good and bad) as soon as you wake up. Processing those emotions in the stark light of day will get you better acquainted with your inner workings, allowing you to practice more control over your nightly terrors.
5. Embrace your spirituality
If you feel more protected with a religious icon by your bed, a dream catcher on the window, or a selenite crystal on the carpet below your pillow, then absolutely go for it. It doesn't need to be a logical solution. If it works, it works.
Here are the key findings from mattressonline to take away:
Unresolved situations are the main cause of bad and recurring dreams.
The most common recurring dreams feature running, falling, fighting and explosions.
Reducing stress and avoiding toxic people can help us better control what we dream about.
Bad dreams are our brain letting us know that an issue needs to be addressed.
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