DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER I divorced my wife, my daughter effectively divorced me.
She has got back in contact, but I’m still second best to her mum.
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I am 49 and my daughter is 14. A year and a half ago, her mum and I separated after 15 years of marriage.
We constantly argued and weren’t happy together.
No one cheated but my wife was angry and resented me for leaving her.
Her punishment seemed to be to turn our daughter against me. Even though I got joint custody, my child refused to communicate with me until last month.
I was over the moon when she got back in contact, but she is cold towards me and only texts when she wants something – a lift or money.
She always says she’s too busy to get a coffee with me and never says she loves me.
I don’t know how to build back our relationship.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It is a really positive move that your daughter got back in touch.
Try to be patient with her and take things slowly.
You must be so excited to have her back in her life, but she may need to take things a lot more steady.
Even giving her lifts is an opportunity to spend time together and refamiliarise yourselves with each other.
Try not to criticise her mum as this will simply put her in a difficult situation. It will take a lot of patience but will be worth it.
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