I don’t know who needs to hear this, but regular masturbation is not only very fun—it’s also legit healthy. Like a workout for your pleasure centers, masturbation is good for you in all sorts of ways. According to sex educators Marla Renee Stewart and Goody Howard, making yourself cum—and, in turn, getting your blood pumping and your juices flowing—is a cardiovascular dream. Howard even says it can help lower blood pressure. It also releases what Stewart calls “the happy hormones,” like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin, which contribute to mental stability, clarity, and mood. But perhaps masturbation’s greatest power is the information it can give you about your body and its desires.
“In my personal and professional opinion, the biggest benefit of self pleasure is achieving a better understanding of what pleasure looks like to you,” says Howard. “Understanding your pleasure scripts makes you a better partner and a better lover. When you understand what pleasure looks like for you, you’re more likely to advocate for it and be able to communicate that to your partners.”
That knowledge, she says, gets you one step closer to closing the “pleasure gap,” or the orgasm disparity that exists between men and women.
So if you get all that and more from one toe-curling solo session between the sheets, why don’t more women report masturbating regularly? One widely cited sexual diversity study from 2015 by Indiana University’s School of Public Health found that less than half of the women surveyed reported having masturbated in the previous month. Part of that, Stewart says, is thanks to the stigma that pervades female sexuality within our very patriarchal culture. Women and those socialized as female are often objectified and stripped of agency, meaning they’re less likely to think of their own pleasure as an active, vital, and accessible part of their lives.
“When we understand ourselves as sexual people, then we will engage in things that are sexual, such as masturbation,” she says.
How often should you masturbate?
Stewart recommends three times a week for at least 15-30 minutes each session for a minimum amount of self-love time. If that seems like too big an investment, Stewart says carving out that time just for yourself is more worth it than you may realize.
“I believe that taking the time to masturbate is an act of self-care and the more relaxed you can be about time, the better,” she explains.
As for a maximum? The limit does not exist. At least, not really.
According to Howard, unless your masturbation practice is so all-consuming that it takes over your life and prevents you from tending to “typical adult obligations, relationships, and responsibilities,” there is “no right or wrong time or frequency when it comes to self pleasure.”
How many times per week do you masturbate?
How long is a typical masturbating session for you?
Do you use any sort of toy when you’re masturbating?
And while we’re on the subject…about how many toys do you own?
At what time of day do you most often masturbate?
Where and in what position do you most often masturbate?
Do you orgasm every time?
Do you masturbate more or less often when you’re in a relationship?
What feels the best: clitoral stimulation, internal stimulation, anal stimulation? Or a mixture?
Any parting words?
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