PARENTING expert Kirsty Ketley has revealed the best New Year’s resolutions to make this year which will make life with the kids WAY easier.
Kirsty's methods include dropping certain words to ensuring your children keep active and don't become lazy.
Below, Kirsty discusses her recommendation to ensure your family live a happy and healthy lifestyle in 2022.
"Parenting is hard out of a pandemic but parenting in a pandemic is REALLY hard, and at times it has certainly put our parenting prowess to the test.
While the new year is a good time to reflect and look back at the moments that we have cherished, it is also a good time to look back at the moments that we might have regretted.
These don’t need to be dwelled upon – mistakes are the gateway to change and success after all but making resolutions can be a great opportunity to move past those parenting moments that were perhaps not our finest and focus on how to create more positive ones.
Not sure where to begin? Then here are THE five resolutions that you need to make for an easier life with the kids.
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Strive to be ‘good enough’ not ‘perfect’
It can be easy to get caught up in someone else’s ideology of how to parent, but everyone’s situation is different and what works well for one family, won’t necessarily work for another.
There is no ‘one-size fits all’ approach and it is not possible to get it right all the time.
Being ‘good enough’ means that you will still be able to meet all your child’s needs most of the time while leaving some flexibility for the real world – the days where you’re not firing on all cylinders and an extra episode or two of Peppa Pig and a ‘Freezer Tapas’ dinner are all you can muster, for instance.
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Be consistent with your rules and boundaries
Consistency is key if you want to see more positive behaviour from your kids.
Understanding that you will follow through and do as you say you will, helps children be in control of their behaviour.
This means not giving in to them or rewarding them for breaking the rules or behaving poorly.
Making sure that all grown-ups involved with caring for your kids are on the same page is also a must.
Don’t underestimate your kids
Under-estimating your kid’s abilities will lead to problems with their self-esteem and can breed laziness.
Children of all ages should be given opportunities to be independent and have some responsibility. This means your kids ‘mucking in’ around the house and looking after their possessions.
It is important that you are realistic in your expectations of what they can do though. It can be easy to expect too much from them, particularly when we start comparing them to other’s their age.
Some comparison is ok, but each child is unique, and your expectations need to reflect this. Look at your child for who they are and adjust your expectations accordingly to suit them and where they are in their development.
Listen
Kids will be more likely to tell you about the big things later in life if they have felt that the smaller things were listened to earlier in their life.
Engaging in 'active listening' is important.
This means making eye contact with your child when they are talking, putting down your phone and giving your child time to talk, not downplaying any concerns that your child might be trying to express.
Want your kids to listen to you?
Try turning your ‘DON’TS’ into ‘DOS’.
You may have noticed that when you have said "Don't touch that", your child has immediately touched it. They may still be running when you have said "Don't run!" and they may have hit again when you have said, "Stop hitting".
Overuse of "No!" or "Don't!" actually weaken the words, and you will find that your child isn't doing as you have said.
Instead, try a short reminder of what you are expecting your child to do – "Don't run!" becomes "Let’s use our walking feet", "Don't hit your sister" becomes "We use kind hands".
You can then go on to a brief explanation as to why walking feet is a better option to running, or why using kind hands is a must.
Have fun!
It is said that laughter is the best medicine, and it certainly is!
Having a sense of humour is not only a great aid in developing self-esteem in kids but it is also great for developing their social and problem-solving skills too.
People with a good sense of humour tend to form friendships easily, which helps them feel better about themselves and boosts their self-esteem.
Laughter is also great for reducing stress and can help build resilience in our kids too, so when things are getting hard, find some time to have some fun. It will benefit you too!"
In related news…I’m a parenting expert and dads are never blamed for making ‘stupid’ mistakes – it needs to stop.
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