In the last installment of our mini-series, Metro.co.uk will be speaking to reality TV fan favourites about what time on their show was like – and how things have changed now they’re Back to Reality. Last but not least, it’s… Ethan Smith from Too Hot To Handle.
‘What a sexist pig’.
‘I want Ethan to die’.
I knew that no one comes out the other side of reality TV loved by all, but this onslaught of social media hate was not what I was expecting.
When I’d first finished filming Too Hot To Handle (THTH), I was proud of how I’d behaved. I thought I’d balanced a ‘bad boy’ image with my softer side. I’d had some really genuine moments with my other cast mates and I was looking forward to watching the show.
Instead, I got the ‘villain edit’ and people calling me a scumbag. I don’t blame Netflix as there always has to be a baddie – this time it just happened to be me.
Still, it was a bit of a nightmare, which is ironic, as reality TV had been my dream.
I’m a chatty, personable guy and love meeting new people. Whenever I watched programmes like Love Island I thought I could easily be in that villa, having a laugh and delivering meme-able lines.
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So I applied. When I first started getting call backs, I could barely contain my excitement. I made it well into the casting process and then nothing. Then I started getting approached for future series, so I thought I was in with a better shot, but the same thing happened.
I made it to the final stages three or four times.
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I remember saying to the producers that I had a holiday coming up that I would cancel if they wanted me to, to no reply. I’d done the psych evaluation, the medical checks, but even that doesn’t mean you’re a shoo-in when it comes to a show like Love Island.
It really deflated me and the next two years I just felt like I couldn’t be bothered. Coupled with the pandemic that saw a lot of my modelling work dry up, it felt like everything was going badly for me.
I started working at an Amazon Warehouse before moving onto dry lining on a building site.
It was this second job that helped me feel more like myself again. I was with the lads every day, and having a good time, so when I was approached for a show called Wild Love by a ‘major streaming platform’, I felt ready to dive back in.
Plus, being 26, I worried that if I left it any longer, I’d be too old.
It was a casting director who I’d worked with on Love Island who contacted me for the show. I remember him clearly saying, ‘just don’t turn it down’. I knew it was the big one I’d been waiting for.
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Wild Love was sold on the premise that you’d be completing extreme tasks and finding romantic connections along the way.
It sounded perfect – I am a massive adrenaline junkie and my ADHD also means I love to constantly be doing activities – so I was ready to 100% commit to the show.
Anyone who’d watched Too Hot To Handle before might have been able to figure out this was all a ruse to hide the real premise of the show – something THTH is famous for – but I’d never seen it so was completely in the dark.
The casting process was a lot speedier this time but I tried not to get too excited.
I was driving to the gym when I got the phone call, and I just burst into tears, having finally achieved my dream.
Within one month of being cast, I was flown out to Turks and Caicos to start my quarantine before entering the house. I didn’t have time to diet or anything!
I remember my chaperone giving me a small hint. He asked whether I wanted to watch something on TV suggesting, ‘perhaps a dating show like Too Hot To Handle to get you in the mood’.
I replied, ‘not that – that’s rubbish!’
Having never seen it, I’m not sure what gave me that impression, but I can only imagine what my chaperone was thinking!
I should have taken him up on the offer because isolation was actually really boring. It sounds ideal tanning all day and doing nothing, but when you’re freaking out about how your life is going to change, the lack of distraction is very annoying!
I’d initially thought I would be going in at the start but reality TV changes all the time so I was moved to a later arrival. In fact, I was only told I was going in the same day it happened.
That’s when I found out Wild Love didn’t exist and it was actually THTH.
While it was disappointing that I wouldn’t be jumping out of planes, I was overjoyed and shocked that I’d got a place on a show that big.
I thought I’d been nervous before, but this was something else. I came off a boat and straight onto a date with Sophie Stonehouse, surrounded by cameras with 20 odd people behind them.
Someone asked me how I was feeling and I remember replying, ‘I’m s******g’ myself.’
After arriving properly, everyone was really nice, so I settled in quickly. But I realised it was a completely different show from the one I’d signed up for.
I was on TV to have a good time, not learn about myself and my attitude to relationships. I was, however, excited to break some rules. It wasn’t shown, but I actually did break one (that’s all the tea you’re getting about that), and when Lana announced it to the group, they were all having a go at me.
I thought it was funny! They’d all done the exact same so I should have been allowed.
Aside from that drama, I did make some great friends – especially with the boys like Seb and Creed.
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All in all, I was having a great time – and then I was abruptly kicked off. While viewers might have been able to guess it was me on the chopping block, I had no idea. I honestly thought it was going to be Jawahir and Nick. I was crying and holding Jawahir’s hand.
When Lana said my name, I was absolutely fuming! I was sent home for not making enough progress but I’d been sent in at a disadvantage. I’d liked Sophie, but she was with Creed. I’d liked Brittan, but she was with James.
And then Imogen came in. She was stunning and my type all over; better still, we got on really well and had loads of chats that were never shown. One that was happened to be when I asked her if her boobs were real.
That’s what landed me with the sexist pig comments – but in the context of the conversation it wasn’t inappropriate! We’d been chatting beforehand about something related, and I think she might have even been the one to bring up her chest. We ended up having a laugh after and even agreed to share the bed that night too.
I was finally making a connection with someone and I was buzzing. Then bam, I was gone.
Landing back in the freezing cold and going back to work like nothing ever happened was surreal. Going through such a life-changing experience and not being able to tell anyone else was just so odd.
There was almost a year between filming and airing, and when I heard that it was due to air in December, I couldn’t contain my excitement.
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And when the show started airing, I was chuffed with how I came across. I thought my entrance and intro was a bit full on, and some of what I said had been edited out, but the first batch of episodes were great. I watched myself cracking on with Brittan and having fun.
The second batch is where things started to go really south and the negative comments began to roll in.
People were saying I had no game, no chat, and I couldn’t speak to women. When the boobs comment aired, I got ‘all you care about is female body parts’.
Imogen leapt to my defence, saying it didn’t happen like that, which I appreciated, but people didn’t care and it escalated to trolls wishing me dead.
I really don’t think Netflix did it on purpose, or in a spiteful way, it’s just how TV is.
It’s just a shame as I wanted to go on TV to show my different sides. I’m actually a soft and sensitive person, especially towards women.
My mum has brought me up in the best way possible and I would never ever harm a woman or speak to her in the wrong way. During filming, I showed this side of me often, but it didn’t make the cut.
One of the hardest moments was when my ex phoned me crying; she couldn’t believe I’d been portrayed this way. She was so upset and it made me realise how serious the situation was.
Instead of enjoying the bigger platform the show gave me, I had to backtrack and do some reputational rehabilitation to prove I’m a nice person. I tried to show who I am on my social media channels and when I bumped into fans of the show in person.
Thankfully, it seemed to work, with people telling me, ‘you are actually a decent person’. It was a relief to hear because I know I am – and it’s not something I have to try at – but when so many think otherwise, it’s hard.
I’m starting to be able to use my new influence for good. One of the things I’ve always wanted from reality TV fame is to be able to interact with people in a positive way. Now I’m getting people in my DMs asking me to wish them a happy birthday or say hello, I’m loving it – it’s the best feeling.
And I’m getting to raise awareness of causes that matter to me. My aunty suffered from breast cancer two years ago, and now she’s recovered, I want to do all I can to spread awareness of the symptoms.
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It’s the same with ADHD – I really want to become an ambassador. I was in and out of school all the time and struggled. Teachers told me I was never going to amount to anything and I know other kids with ADHD will experience something similar. I want to let them know we can achieve our dreams and that I’ll be right there with them.
Now my image is on the mend, I don’t want to do anything to jeopardise it. I do think I’ve probably toned down my big personality a bit since going on TV; I try not to get too drunk when I’m out in public and I realise that if I misbehave, it not only reflects badly on me, but Netflix too.
I knew that having the spotlight on me would change the way I lived, but it’s done so in unexpected ways. While I’m single now, I was dating someone between filming and airing. She’d also been on reality TV and it was just so nice to be with someone who got it.
It’s the same with friends. If I asked someone I knew from before the show to take a video of me in the gym, they’d tell me to do one. But if I ask one of the boys from Too Hot, or one of my mates from Love Island, they’d understand that I’d need that content for my socials.
Even after all I’ve been through, I wouldn’t change my experience. Everything happens for a reason and this has been a massive learning curve for me.
And though I’ve realised that life after reality TV is really hard, it hasn’t deterred me. The good has far outweighed the bad so I want to go back, and might even have something top secret in the pipeline.
For now, I’m living a life of luxury – and while I’m sure I will go back to part-time work at some point, I’m making the most of every day.
While it wasn’t Wild Love, it’s definitely been a wild ride.
Main picture: Getty
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