Wow. We’ve spent years trying to remind everyone Donald Trump was a low-rent huckster reality TV star. But all the writeups on his foibles couldn’t paint the picture as well as his latest business venture does.
The former POTUS made a big deal on Wednesday about a “major announcement” coming the following day. Since he had already announced his run for president — to a half-empty party that not even Ivanka Trump would attend — we were kind of at a loss as to what it could be about. So imagine our surprise when the big story was… he was selling NFTs. Yes, for real.
The latest scheme to raise money is selling Trump-branded NFTs of collectible trading cards featuring… Donald Trump. The novelty cards imagine Trump as a superhero, a cowboy, a racecar driver, an astronaut… You know how Barbie has a different job for each toy? Kind of like that. Like a child’s fantasy of Trump instead of a photo of an overly bronzed slumlord. Only buyers aren’t even getting actual trading cards, they’re getting a digital receipt that says they own a digital trading card. All for the completely unhinged price of A HUNDRED BUCKS! Donnie wrote on his Truth Social:
“GET YOUR CARDS NOW! Only $99 each! Would make a great Christmas gift. Don’t Wait. They will be gone, I believe, very quickly!”
Yes, this is real.
A disreputable reality star getting in on the NFT game isn’t the surprising part — it’s the timing of the thing. See, NFTs are already over. The market crashed! Justin Bieber infamously paid $1.29 million for a Bored Ape NFT — and it was valued last month at just $69k. That’s a drop of like 95% from the peak price. After the debacle of FTX, no one is keen to invest in crypto crap like this right now!
So not only is Trump selling something worthless and ridiculous, he’s jumping into the market WAY too late. It’s like trying to get someone to invest in Theranos after Amanda Seyfried already starred in the Hulu miniseries about it being a scam!
Even if he planned this before the FTX crash, to still go through with it shows a level of desperation we didn’t think was possible outside of high school boys in ’80s movies.
We still don’t know for certain whether Donald Trump is untouchable by the law. But we can tell you for sure the man is impervious to parody at this point. Yeesh.
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