You may have thought you’d reached the point at which no news about Armie Hammer could possibly shock you.
After all, you’ve already dealt with the possibility that Hammer is a cannibal, an abuser, a drug addict, and a serial banger of Real Housewives.
What could possibly surprise you at this point?
Well, you may want to hold onto your hat for this one, because folks on Twitter are convinced that Hammer’s name will soon be mentioned in connection with an ongoing murder investigation.
Now, to be fair, folks on Twitter are also convinced that any moment now, Donald Trump will perform a citizen’s arrest on Joe Biden and toss him off the edge of the flat Earth.
But when it comes to Hammer-gate, their wild theories at least have some basis in reality … sort of.
It all started over the weekend, when Hammer’s agent and management team both abruptly cut ties with the formerly in-demand actor.
This led to speculation that some career-destroying news about Hammer was soon to be made public — possibly even something criminal.
According to the Instagram account Deux Moi — which has proven to be a reliable source on all things Armie — a major US media outlet will be publishing a shocking report about Hammer sometime this week.
The Instagram account House of Effie — who was the first to publish DMs in which Hammer fantasized about eating his sexual partners — recently deleted a post claiming that the upcoming news about Hammer would be worse than anyone imagined.
“Holy s–t. I know what’s going to come out. It’s bad. Really bad,” read text posted on the account’s Story.
“Like I’m shaking and feel like I’m gonna throw up bad.”
Naturally, Instagram and Twitter users ran with that prompt, and it wasn’t long before online sleuths had connected Hammer to the disappearance of a woman in Palm Springs whose remains were found last month.
Others claim that two women disappeared near the site where a recent movie project of Hammer’s was filmed.
Still other social media detectives have upped the number of victims to three:
“Remember when Armie suddenly began working in construction mid-pandemic and mid-divorce last year? Suddenly, he was employed, in between jobs, working on a hotel in the middle of the desert,” In the Cut magazine recently tweeted.
“In the six months during his employment, 10-15 minutes away from the site, the remains of the three women have been found. We are not conflating the two ideas, but there have been long-standing rumors for awhile,” the outlet added.
But if you were hoping that Armie would become the subject of 47 serial killer podcasts in the next year, we’re afraid we have some bad news.
Armie “had girls there the whole time” a source tells Deux Moi of the film set rumor, adding that he “wouldn’t have done a whole press thing there if he had killed two people”.
“Armie Hammer’s name hasn’t come up as a suspect at all. We have no plans to investigate him,” Palm Springs police told UK tabloid The Sun when asked about the Palm Springs report.
So yeah, it’s sounding like Armie probably isn’t a murderer — but that doesn’t mean he’s not about to be at the center of some very damaging reports.
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