You’ve met someone and have fallen, or are (still) so in love with someone you want to let the world know it. You could choose to post couple selfies on your own Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat accounts — or you could take it a step further by opening a joint social media account.
But there is something relationship and dating experts want you to consider, and they want you to think long and hard about it before you hit the “create account” button, and that is: why? Because while you may think having a joint social media account is cute, it reads as a signal that behind the facade, something is not right.
Having a joint account can signal a lack of trust
Experts see a shared social media account as one way of proclaiming that a relationship status is complicated.
“One reason couples do this is because they don’t actually trust each other,” relationship expert Shannon Smith tells Bravo TV. “Maybe someone cheated, or maybe transparency is the priority and the couple feels the need to keep tabs on each other’s social interactions. Maybe this approach was taken to present a united front and showcase their bond, but it can appear as a desperate move.”
Relationship therapist Suzana Flores agrees. “Psychologically, when couples share social media accounts, it more likely than not is a sign of codependency or insecurity,” she says (via Mashable). “Someone has trust issues, someone feels the need to monitor. I would say nine times out of 10, ballpark, that’s what’s really going on when we do see a joint account, because it’s unusual. It’s almost like the couple is… too enmeshed.”
But there are exceptions to the rule
Flores tells Mashable that a bit of distance is healthy in any relationship, whether the distance is real or virtual. “There is a role for healthy autonomy in every relationship,” she says. “When couples have a joint account, it doesn’t really reflect that.”
But like all rules there are exceptions, and these apply when the couple is doing business together, or they might share the same interests and prefer to use one post instead of two if they want to keep friends and family up-to-date on their lives. “For the couple who lives abroad or is apart from friends and family, this will closely intertwine their lives, because when people are separated from their close friends and family by physical distance, it may simply make sense to some to provide joint updates to loved ones via shared social channels or a dedicated email,” Smith tells Bravo TV.
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