Rumer Willis is getting introspective as she heads into her 31st year around the sun.
“How do we Let Go?” the actress, whose birthday is on Friday, August 16, began a lengthy Instagram post on Thursday.
“This was me yesterday. Exhausted, Overwhelmed and Broken Down,” she continued, sharing a no-makeup selfie and explaining that she had just been “sobbing” on the phone with her sister in what she called “a full little kid meltdown.”
“I have been sick almost the entire month of August that started with food poisoning to then an unknown stomach problem where I haven’t been able to eat because when I do it feels like my stomach is on fire to the flu that turned into a sinus infection,” she said, explaining that the string of illnesses left her feeling “helpless and scared and so utterly overwhelmed.”
“I felt like time was just drifting by and I was trapped in a body that didn’t want to work with me,” the Once Upon a Time in Hollywood actress went on. “I have been in so much pain and kept trying to fight it and be angry and sad, but what I realized was that I was trying to control it. I was listening to my body or what it needed and was just trying to control how I felt and when I felt it.”
To combat the negativity, Willis said that she “did some compassionate self forgiveness for any judgements I was holding against myself or my body for not behaving the was [sic] I wanted it to and really just allowed myself to be exactly where I was at and let go.”
“And I woke up this morning feeling a little better and feeling much more integrated in myself because I was no longer at war within. I am by no means 100% yet but getting there,” she continued.
Willis said that she thinks it is “important for me to share not just the fun great parts of my life but also the tough ones too because we are all just doing the best we can with the tools we have” and encouraged her followers to identify aspects of their life that might benefit them by letting go.
“It’s my birthday tomorrow and i wanted to start my new year letting go of mindsets, beliefs and old stories that no longer serve me,” she said. “So I encourage you as you move forward with you day, week or even month allow yourself to let go of the control of the outcome, control of the expectations of how it should go or look, and let go of whatever story you are making up about yourself if it doesn’t turn out the way you planned.”
“It’s all happening for you not to you…. Anyway for any that this resonates I hope it helped and if it’s not for you love to you anyway. Thank you for allowing me to share myself,” she concluded. “Love Rue.”
Willis recently opened up to the Huffington Post about struggling with self-esteem as a teenager after moving from Idaho to Hollywood at the age of 15.
“They said I had a huge jaw. They said I had a ′potato head,’” Willis said. “When you’re 14 or 15, I didn’t really understand having value in myself yet. My mind went to, ‘Okay, so if I get skinny or if I dress the right way or present myself very hyper-sexually and dress this way, then I’ll be valued.’”
“So much for me became wrapped up in that my value set is based on what other people think of me, and had nothing to do with what I thought about myself,” she added. In addition to turning to her mom Demi Moore for support, the actress said that now, she finds honesty to be the best policy.
“I think the most important thing for me is doing my best to lead by example,” Willis said. “I still deal with insecurity and trying to figure out my own path in all of it.”
This article originally appeared on People. For more stories like this, visit people.com.
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