Khloe introduces Tristan to her imaginary friend “Quarantina” with a crack about his infidelity.
The woman behind Nori’s Black Book — a viral parody Instagram account written entirely in the voice of Kim Kardashian’s sassy 7-year-old daughter — continues to bring her talents to TooFab.
Each week, “Nori” recaps new episodes of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians,” giving us HER take on all the family drama.
(NOTE: The below was not actually written by North West.)
The episode started with Khloe explaining that she had been in her room for 14 days because she had COVID, but she was finally feeling better. The hardest part of the ordeal was being separated from her daughter, True. She had to pretend that she wasn’t home because True didn’t understand why Khloe couldn’t be around her. She said it sucked, but she knew it would all pass.
Kim, Khloe, Kris and Scott video chatted since it wasn’t safe for them to get together in person. Scott said seeing the news with all the tragedies was horrible, but they needed to keep their cool to keep the kids calm.
Later, Kendall joined the video chat. Kim asked her if she had talked to Kylie since their fight in Palm Springs. Kendall said she hadn’t, even though it had been about a month. Khloe and Kim said they both spoke to Kylie about reaching out to Kendall, but Kylie snapped at them and insisted that Kendall should be the one reaching out because Kendall slapped her first. Kendall said the point is not who hit who first. Khloe suggested that they both apologize for the role they played in the situation. They needed to address it and not avoid the problem. Khloe said it was petty and everyone needed to own their stuff and move on.
North West: You know who else needs to move on from this fight? This show. I understand we are pressed for content, but this fight has been milked enough. Let’s move on to something new and get a fresh storyline in here.
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At Kim’s house, Kim attempted to do a KKW Beauty makeup tutorial alone in the bathroom. However, it was challenging because her kids were giving her no time. Kim was on the verge of losing it because the house was chaotic with homeschooling and the kids not being able to see their friends and cousins. Kanye was diagnosed with COVID, so she had to take care of the kids by herself. Kim was spread thin and frustrated she couldn’t even get 30 minutes to herself. She tried to press on with her makeup tutorial but her daughter, North, was busy criticizing her, playing in the makeup and getting in the way. Kim was very annoyed and kicked her out of the bathroom.
NW: I would like to remind everyone that at this point we had only been quarantined for about a week. The theatrics really need to stop. If she wants to play with her cheap makeup that’s fine, just don’t do it in my office bathroom. The Malikas just cleaned it!
Back at Khloe’s house, Khloe was still struggling on her 15th day of quarantining in her room. She was feeling better, but now she was bored. She did everything from clean her makeup brushes, make her bed, lay in the bed, watch TV and everything in between. She even asked Tristan to grab her some puzzles.
NW: If Auntie Khloe thought she was bored then, imagine how bored she’s going to be when we stop filming this show. There’s only so many Good American meetings she can schedule in a week.
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Kim went to Kris’ house after being quarantined for 14 days and they remained 6 feet apart. Kim confessed to Kris that her kids were driving her crazy and it was getting stressful. All the kids wanted her attention and they were having full meltdowns. Kris said everyone was going insane, especially those with children. However, they just needed to make the best out of the situation.
NW: It’s like she just found out she has kids. Chicago asked her for dinner and she said, “Am I the one that is supposed to do that for you? How do you usually get food?”
Khloe finally took a COVID test, but she was waiting on the results. She was still lonely and bored so she made an imaginary friend out of a massage pillow and sunglasses. She named her new friend, Quarantina. She FaceTimed her brother, Rob, and Tristan to show off her new friend. Tristan said she looked like Tom Hanks from “Cast Away.” Khloe corrected him, saying, “This is Tina, I know how you like other women,” referring to his past infidelities. After Khloe put on Quarantina’s glasses, Tristan said, “Aw, you look like the smart girl I’m going to cheat off on the test,” to which Khloe fired back, “Thank God you said, ‘On a test.'” But Khloe was grateful that Tristan was helping her. She said they were not together, but maintained that they were still really good friends.
NW: I will never forgive Tristan if he cheats on Khloe with Quarantina. That’s where I draw the line!
Kris needed a break so she went to her house in Palm Springs. While at the house, she spoke with Khloe about Kendall and Kylie. The girls still hadn’t talked, but they have been making comments about their fight on Instagram. Khloe said that both girls were stubborn so Kris needed to encourage one of them to talk to the other.
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Kim attended a college class as a surprise guest via Zoom in her kitchen. She was still taking care of her kids alone since Kanye was still sick. During the class her daughter, Chicago, ran outside. Kim had to interrupt the class to run after her and bring her back inside. Kim felt bad about running off, but her kids’ safety came first.
NW: I texted mommy, “Your daughter is headed to the pool, better grab her. I’m going to Nobu.” Not my kid, not my problem. She needs to get her childcare sorted out.
Back in Palm Springs, Kris got in touch with Kylie. Kylie said she wanted to donate supplies like masks to doctors and she wanted to also donate one million dollars. Kris thought that was amazing. Kris changed topics to talk about Kendall. Kris told Kylie she should check in on her sister since she didn’t have kids and was alone a lot. Kris was trying to nudge Kylie into mending the fence with Kendall. Kylie wasn’t immediately on board.
At Kim’s house, Kim reached out to Khadijah because she was quarantined with her 3 kids, so she could relate to Kim’s situation. She felt like an awful mom because she could hear Chicago crying in the other room and she didn’t care. Khadijah assured her that she was not alone. All the moms were going through the same thing. Kim realized she was being too hard on herself.
NW: You just had to have Ms. Personality. You thought Saint was such a sweet boy. Sam can do no wrong. I have to laugh!
Kim went on to say that Penelope let North babysit her dog since they haven’t seen each other in 3 weeks. It was the last thing that Kim needed.
Later, Kim’s whole family went to their ranch in Wyoming. Kanye finally tested negative for COVID so he was able to take the kids. Kim stayed home alone and she was in heaven. She hadn’t been alone in her home since North was born. She watched movies, ate food and did a foot peel. Kim said it was okay for people to admit that they need help. Everyone needs to take mental breaks.
NW: Yup, she sent us away so she can watch The Notebook while binge eating cheeseburger sliders.
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Kendall called Kim to tell her how a book she had been reading inspired her to call Kylie. The book (that Kylie actually recommended) talked about pride and love. Kendall called Kylie, but she didn’t answer. Kim mentioned that she texted Kylie about her fight with Kendall, but in the middle of her story Kendall interrupted her because Kylie was calling on the other line so she had to answer her.
Kylie called her sister Kendall from the Kylie Cosmetic offices. The two made a little small talk and then Kylie began her speech. Kylie said that their fight was all about miscommunication, it should have never gotten to that point and she never would do anything to hurt her. Kendall agreed and she was just ready for it to be over. Kylie apologized and wanted to move on as well.
NW: I refuse to entertain this fight with anymore commentary.
Khloe finally got a negative COVID test result. She was so excited because she got to leave her room and reunite with her daughter. Khloe fantasized about an amazing and dramatic reunion, but True wasn’t nearly as excited to see her mom as Khloe hopes. Khloe didn’t think that True even knew she was gone. However, it made her feel good that she was so well taken care of. She later thanked Tristan for doing his part.
Kim was still enjoying her quiet home, but since the kids had been gone for a full 24 hours she was bored. Kanye was sending her clips of her kids from Wyoming and she was missing them. She didn’t know what to do with herself. She couldn’t wait for her kids to come home.
NW: Honestly, I think it was us who needed to get away from her. Once we got to Wyoming and removed her from the equation everything was so peaceful and everyone was getting along. No one was trying to sell cheap makeup and shapewear on Instagram or pretending to eat plant-based tacos. I love mommy, but it was a much needed break.
“Keeping Up With the Kardashians” airs on E! Thursdays at 8 p.m. ET.
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