I'm struggling after having a threesome with my art teacher and her best friend

DEAR DEIDRE: MY sex life got off to a brilliant start having threesomes with my art teacher and her best friend. But ever since it has gone downhill.

I did art A-level at sixth-form college and my teacher thought I was talented. She would let me stay behind after school to work on my paintings.

We used to talk and get close. It was great to have an adult who was interested — my parents thought art was playing about.

I was 17 and my teacher was 29 and glamorous. I had a crush on her so my dreams came true when she kissed me one day.

She was leaning over my shoulder showing me how to improve my brushstrokes when it happened.

She pulled away first, saying: “This isn’t the right place,” but she invited me round to her flat days later. She said she had some art books for me.

We had sex that first time I went round there. It was my first time and it was like every young guy’s dream come true. She wasn’t taking advantage of me — I loved the experience.

We had sex a few more times and then one day her flatmate, who was her best friend, was home too. She was also 29.


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A couple of weeks later my teacher asked how I felt about a threesome with her friend. I felt awkward about it at first but then thought, “Why not?”

And, it was great. I carried on having sex with them for the rest of that school year.

My teacher then left the area for a better job but she’d really boosted my confidence — in my work and in myself socially.

My work has gone OK since. I went to art school and have got a job in advertising.

But socially and sexually I’ve struggled.

I’m also cursed with a large penis now — I guess I was a late developer.

Mates envy me but girls are horrified by it. I either have to stop sex halfway through as it’s hurting them too much or they are just too scared to have sex at all.

I am 32 but I can’t find anyone to have a meaningful relationship with and I would now like to settle down.

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DEIDRE SAYS: You gained sexual experience with your art teacher and her flatmate but unfortunately that didn’t help you develop relationship skills.

You say you loved the experience but actually it was exploitative and far from equal. It would be against the law now.

A large penis can seem scary to women but if you and a partner really care for one another, there are ­techniques and positions to help you enjoy one another sexually.

My e-leaflet Manhood Too Large? explains more but don’t rush to make a relationship sexual.

Really get to know a partner first so that you, the person, matter more than your anatomy does.

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