I’m a single mum of 39 and I’ve found myself pregnant by my younger lover

DEAR DEIDRE:  I’M 39 and I’ve found myself pregnant. At first I was thrilled and my boyfriend was shocked. Now it seems we’ve changed sides.

I’ve been with him a year and we’re totally happy. He’s 32 with no kids of his own but I am a single mum with a six-year-old girl. He gets on really well with her.


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We had talked about having a child. I said I’d love it but he wasn’t sure. When I told him I was pregnant he said the time wasn’t right and we should try when we had bought our own place.

So I arranged an abortion but felt sad. He then said I’d never forgive him if I had an abortion against my wishes and he couldn’t risk that, so I cancelled it.

Now I’m thinking I don’t want to risk our relationship by having a baby he doesn’t want. I’m confused.

DEIDRE SAYS: An unplanned pregnancy will often bring feelings of conflict – for both people involved. You’re 39 now and must accept you may not get pregnant again.

This could be your last chance for a child together and a sibling for your little girl. Some men feel more positive about becoming a dad once it’s a reality but consider what feels right for you. Talking it over with a counsellor may help. See bacp.co.uk.

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