I knew my husband cheated on me — I didn't know it was with a man

I’m 35 and my husband is 38. I knew he sometimes looked at gay pornography.

A pretty girl started at his work and he started going out drinking and coming home late. I thought he was cheating on me with her.

I got paranoid. Then, when he came in at 3am last week, I got so angry I punched him and scratched his face.

He left saying he’ll never forgive me and claims he’s having panic attacks. He’s now confessed he’s seeing a man – not that girl. I’m heartbroken. I’ve tried every way of trying fix things but am I wasting my time?

DEIDRE SAYS: If your husband has realised that he is predominantly gay, then it’s unlikely you can stay happily married. In fact, your marriage hasn’t been happy for a while.

Tell your husband you regret being violent, it wasn’t OK, but his behaviour wound you up. His panic attacks may be as much about the drastic life change overtaking him.

Try to make your parting civilised.

My e-leaflet on Divorce And Separation explains sources of support.

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