My fiancé and I knew we were right for each other from the day we met. It was a whirlwind romance and we have been together for 18 months. He is 29, I am 28.
We went through a brief rocky patch early on, around 15 months ago. Just before I left for the conference, we talked and agreed to go on a break.
It was a three-day conference and was very busy. One of the men there was from a different branch of our firm. He is 25 and a fairly new recruit. I had been in contact with him before to help with work queries.
On the last evening, everyone went out for a meal, then on to a pub. I spent the evening drinking with this colleague and had way too much to drink.
When we got back to the hotel he ended up in my room with me. We started kissing and then had hot sex.
We parted the next morning as friends and knew it was a one-off but that we’d be in contact over work matters.
I said nothing about what had happened to my fiancé and we got back together and moved in together soon afterwards.
Last week he found a text on my phone from the other guy. It was about going to a trade exhibition together and it was clear what he wanted.
I had to admit what had happened. He was devastated. He says he cannot forgive me and has moved out. I accept that what I did was wrong but I am expecting our baby in four months.
I am terrified of bringing up a baby on my own and losing everything, not just my fiancé but the home we share.
It’s like my whole world is crumbling around me. All I want is to make it work with my fiancé so that our child will have both his parents together.
My e-leaflet Moving On will help anyone who has recently lost a relationship and is struggling.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your fiancé only found out last week, so it is all very new to him and his hurt is raw. You have had time to process it all but it must feel to him as though it only happened recently.
It has clearly hit him badly but make sure he remembers that he had agreed to the break you were on at the time. You were not together, so what you did was not cheating. Maybe it made you realise how much you wanted to be with him.
Tell him how sorry you are and ask him to give your relationship another chance. The baby you are expecting is his child too.
Emphasise how much better it would be for his child to be with his parents together and happy.
It is possible to get over this, and talking to a counsellor together can make all the difference.
My e-leaflet on How Counselling Can Help explains how you can find a properly qualified counsellor.
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