Getting over someone can be hard. Depending on how long you were together or what caused your breakup, you may be able to move on quickly or it may take some time. Either way, the day will come when you’re finally over them. But it can be difficult to tell exactly when that is. How do you know when you’re over someone? Is it when you no longer want anything to do with them? Or when you feel like you can start dating again? According to experts, there are a few telltale ways to know when you’re really over someone.
"You’ll know you’re absolutely over someone when you feel nothing for them. No yearning. No sadness. No joy. No hope. No anger," NYC relationship expert Susan Winter tells Elite Daily. She says you’ll notice it in small ways in your every day life, but more obviously you’ll notice it in the bigger things. For example, if you run into them on a day where you didn’t put any effort into how you look, and you don’t care that they see you that way, that’s a good sign. "You’re no longer seeking their approval. You no longer care if they desire you," Winter adds. And that can be an amazing feeling.
You may notice you’re getting over your ex little by little or one day it may just hit you all of a sudden. "You literally just realize that you went a whole day without thinking of them," Trina Leckie, breakup coach and host of the breakup BOOST podcast, tells Elite Daily. "It kind of just comes out of nowhere and feels like a huge relief. You can smile to yourself knowing you are truly going to be OK." You may also realize you’re completely over someone when you see that they started dating someone else, and it doesn’t bother you. Or if you no longer feel the urge to talk to them, Leckie says.
Feeling like you’re completely over someone can also come in stages. "But generally speaking, being over someone means you have little to no emotional or physical emotions towards them, and no doubt regarding the end of the relationship, and no desire to try again," Benjamin Ritter, MBA, MPH, EdD, founder of the Breakup Supplement and consultant for Live for Yourself Consulting, tells Elite Daily. If you haven’t completely gotten over them, you may still feel hesitant about the day they decide to move on from you. But if you have, he says "you feel happy for the old partner’s success and happiness, without jealousy or thought of a potential relationship."
If you don’t feel completely over your ex right away, don’t fret. That’s totally normal. Some people may be able to move on more quickly than others. If moving on is taking you longer than you had expected it to, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. "At the end of a relationship, it is unusual to be completely over a partner — no physical or emotional connection," Ritter says. "This is why it is recommended to cut off all communication and connections (social media) with previous partners to ensure you can move on and get over your last partner."
So, take your time. Don’t rush to be able to move on quicker. Your body needs to heal on its own, and it will. If you notice the little things our experts mentioned, you’ll gradually see yourself moving on. Or one day, you’ll just wake up and realize you finally did it. Either way, the day will come, and when it does, you’ll know you’re completely over them. Congrats, gorgeous.
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